Saturday, January 19, 2008

Nicole Kidman, Daddy's girl

It has been widely reported that Nicole Kidman intends to have her father deliver her baby - news which has been accompanied by a mass outpouring of squeamishness.

I have never been present at a birth, but my good friend has done it more than once, and has described it as follows:

“Lots of excruciating pain and uncontrollable bodily ejections. Poop. Projectile vomit. Uterine fluid, blood, sweat, gas, slime, that sort of thing, followed by something the size of a watermelon coming out of a lemon-sized hole. All the while, a bunch of people are staring intently at your crotch.”

Honestly, what kind of woman would want her father prodding around at the business end of all this?

Nicole’s little sister Antonia apparently, whose fourth child was delivered by her Dad, and whose precedent Nic wishes to follow.

Knowing what you now know, doesn’t this photo make you feel a little bit icky?

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